"I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again"
My flight leaves at 8:30am tomorrow morning! I have an hour long layover in Chicago so I don't land in Rochester until 2:00pm. Once we get there and check into the hotel the plan is to spend the rest of the evening. On Wednesday I have to check in at the Mayo Clinic at 6:45am. I have my first test at 7:30 and then I meet the cardiology team at 10:15. It will be a busy morning!
I am pretty much a bundle of nerves today, I'm both excited and scared. Although, I am doing my best to stay positive and just trust in the Lord. It is a huge miracle I even have an appointment. I know the Lord didn't bring me this far just to fail now.
I wish I could type more, but I really need to get packin!!
Monday, October 29, 2007
Here is a Halloween poem I wrote a few years ago. I know it's pretty lame and cheesy but oh well!
The ghouls and goblins are out tonight,
Visiting houses with scary sounds and spooky lights.
Withces and warlocks all havin a party,
On the doorstep of Unlce Harvey's.
Superheroes and villians too,
Mickey Mouse and Winnie the Pooh.
Fairies and clowns like the street,
All screaming out, "Trick or Treat!"
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
"I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life." Hobbes
This is my Calvin & Hobbes quote of the day. I completely agree with it! We experience things every day that don't make much sense to our mortal minds. Actually, I don't know about you, but most of life doesn't make sense to me. Everything confuses me...such as: Why all the tv shows I want to watch are on at the exact same time?, Why I feel bonded to the stars of those shows when they pass out on live tv?, Why changes have to be made right when I really need things to stay the same?, and Why stress has to affect every aspect of your life? However, even though I don't understand it all, life really is so much easier when we can smile and laugh at it all. When we are having days that are just super rough and we don't understand why we have to go through them, if we just smile and giggle a bit the rain clouds start to disappear. I love the saying, "It's easy enough to be happy when the sun shines on the town, but the man worthwhile is the man who can smile when his pants are falling down"
Monday, October 22, 2007
Today was a bittersweet Sunday. I was able to make it to my wards sacrament meeting, which was a great blessing. Partaking of the sacrament at church is a lot different than when they bring it to me at my home. I loved the quiet time I was able to sit and ponder on things. I really felt the spirit along with a very cleansing, peaceful type of feeling. It was great! However, today was also a very emotional sacrament meeting for me. Today was the day my bishopric was released. When I first heard the news they were to be released I was quite sad, but soon realized it would be ok. I knew that this is the Lord's church and that if He must have a reason for making this change. I was still a little concerned how the new bishopric would work out, but again remembered whose church it is. I wanted to attend church today so that I could be there to support my departing bishopric as well as sustain the new bishopric. I hoped that if I was there and sustained them I feel the spirit testify to me that these were the right men for the job and ease all my concerns. However, this was not the case. I came home totally depressed! I bawled all through the meeting. Each member of the departing bishopric spoke and bore thier testimonies, it was tender!! Oh how I love these men!! I was doing ok, just being tenderly emotional and feeling the spirit...until...Bishop Thorpe mentioned me in his talk! At that point I lost it!! I laughed at the story he told of me, but then the flood of tears came. At that point it really hit me how much this man means to me in my life. I have never been very good at trusting men. I can honestly say there are only four men on this earth I have ever really trusted. Bishop Thorpe was one of those men. Over the three years he was my bishop I came to really rely on him for help on my dark days. Even on the days I didn't call him for advice or help, it always gave me comfort to know he was there if I needed him. Right now life is hard for me. I am going through a lot and am truthfully really struggling, however, knowing that I had a strong support group behind me was helping me get through things one day at a time. Now, one of the biggest members of that support group is gone. I know that he will always be my friend and a support for me, but it will never be the same. He will no longer have those keys of revelation for me. I feel like I have been dealt a huge blow...of all the times in my life that I have ever needed a good bishop that I trust and feel comfortable with the most crucial time is now. I did meet and shake hands with my new bishop, and I'm sure he is a great guy...but that trust factor is a difficult one for me. I'm not giving up on him yet, but with all I am going through it will be sometime before I am able to observe him and get to know him, and see if that trust comes or not. The problem is that in the meantime my struggles are not going to go away or even be put on pause. I am grateful that I will be recieving a blessing tomorrow from a good friend of mine. My prayer is that the Lord may convey some answers to me through that blessing.