So I find it interesting as I sit here and think of all that has happened in my life lately. I have felt like I've been on a rollercoaster, like life was forcing me to make all kinds of twists and turns at full speed and my stomach falls to my feet every time. Just when I think I have got settled in for a nice little ride I realize how grateful I am that I buckled up because that last turn almost sent me flying right out of my seat! I still feel like I'm on this rollercoaster and I have no idea whether the next twist will take me left, right, or completely upside down; but I am glad to be here for the ride. Every rollercoaster I've been on may have had twists and turns that scared the bageebies out of me or made me feel like vomiting, but I almost always get off thinking, "that was fun". I'm sure that is how the ride of life will be as well. I just went through a turn that was a bit rough, but I'm learning and growing from it. I am so thankful for the people in my life that I can turn to when the ride gets too scary. I have friends that I know will be there for me day or night whenever I need them. Riding this rollercoaster is so much more fun when you have good friends to ride it with.
Hello, I hope this letter finds all of you happy and well. I am writing this letter to share a story with you…my story.
I suffer from severe depression. Last October the pain from that depression got to be more than I could handle. I felt alone and couldn’t see a way out, so I tried to take my own life. I was lucky enough to have a good friend who called 911 and got me to a hospital in time. I was then admitted to the psych ward at McKay-Dee Hospital for a little over a week. While I was there, I was able to meet with the right kind of doctors and get on the right kind of medications to help me. I also was taught some very important life-saving principles through different group and one- on-one therapy sessions. I tried very hard to keep what I had done a secret. I didn’t want people to know I had attempted suicide. I felt ashamed and thought others would judge me because of it. Then I heard about the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, AFSP, and their Out of the Darkness Awareness program. I realized that there is nothing to be ashamed about and that by sharing my story I may be able to help others who are struggling.
On September 26, 2009, I will be joining with hundreds of people nationwide to walk in AFSPs Out of the Darkness Community Walk in Salt Lake City. The AFSP is at the forefront of research, education, and prevention initiatives designed to reduce loss of life from suicide. With more than 33,000 lives lost each year in the U.S. and over one million worldwide, the importance of this work has never been greater or more urgent. I am participating in this walk to help raise suicide awareness in the community. I know there are many others out there suffering from depression and other similar issues that may still be hiding in the darkness of their own pain and need the help of others to reach out to them and bring them into the light of healing. I would not be here today without the help of family, friends, and competent doctors. My hope is that through education and awareness we can erase the stigma surrounding suicide and its causes, and encourage those suffering with a mental illness to seek help.
Many of us have been affected by suicide in some way whether it is a family member, friend, co-worker, classmate, or ourselves. I would appreciate any support that you can give me for this worthwhile cause. Any contribution will help the work of AFSP, and all donations are 100% tax deductible. You may either donate online, or you may send a check (made payable to AFSP) to: AFSP, 120 Wall Street, 22nd Floor, New York, NY 10005. Please write my name and walk city (Salt Lake City) in the memo line of all checks. If you would like you may also send the check to me and I can mail it into to AFSP for you. To make an online donation please click the link below and you will be taken to my fundraising page. For more information you can contact me at email@example.com or by phone at (801) 645-6112.
This summer I crossed a few things off of my bucket list. I went to Flaming Gorge for the first time ever. I have always heard people talk about the gorge and how gorgeous it is (no pun intended haha). This summer I got to see that for myself. I actually had the opportunity to go twice! The first time I went with my family and my aunt and uncle's family. It was a lot of fun. We spent a lot of time around camp playing games and stuff. Some of the fam all went fishing and had fun doing that. I didn't get a chance to fish during this first trip, but I did have fun riding the tube with my brother. While we were out in the boat it started to storm. We decided to head back in, but my uncles boat overheated and died on us. We were stuck in the boat on the lake in the pouring rain watching the lightning get closer and closer to us. It was quite an adventure. We were bored in the boat so I pulled out my camera and we made a video to pass on to others in case we died in the storm. Here it is for you viewing pleasure.
Also, here are some pics from the trip:
My second trip to the gorge was for a family reunion. It was fun to see uncles and cousins that I had not seen for a really long time. This trip also had it's share of adventures. Savannah fell onto a cactus and had a million little cacti sticks in her hands. We tried to pull them out with some tweezers but it was literally like a rug on her hands. It was awful. We ended up driving to Vernal and taking her to the emergency room. It was so hard watching her cry and scream and knowing there was nothing we could do about it. Luckily the doctor was able to get them all out and help her feel better.
During this trip I was able to cross one more thing off my bucket list and that is that I caught my first fish! I had never been fishing before. It was just a little baby fish, but I caught it!! I don't think fishing is my sport though. It took me forever to catch a fish when everyone around me was catching them left and right. I finally ended up catching two, but they were both pretty small. My favorite part of fishing was the scenery. The little coves where we would go to fish were absolutely beautiful. I enjoyed taking pictures of the area more than I did fishing, but at least it is something I can know say I have done.
I learned something new about myself during this last trip. My uncle Mike brought up his boat and a new tube. My brother and I were the first to try it out. It was pretty much just a big round thing with a few handles to hang on to. It was quite a workout trying to hang on while they were whipping us all over the lake. I fell off three times before I finally climbed back into the boat. When I got in the boat my uncles were just laughing as they told me that every time I fell off the tube I literally skipped across the lake like a smooth rock! My uncle John told me I skipped better than any rock he had ever seen! I could kinda feel it as I fell off, but not in the way they described. I wish someone would have got a video of it becuase I would have loved to see what I actually looked like. I do recall the last time I fell off though. I went in pretty much face first and my head was tucked down just enough that when I hit the water I did a sumersault and then skidded across the lake on my back. It felt pretty funny! So, I now know that even if I never end up making something out of myself at least I know I make a good skipping rock!! Wahoo!! :0)