I sat down one day and took a long hard look at my life, and realized that it was not the life I wanted to be living. I noticed how my focus had shifted from things that were making me a better person to things that weren't. I'm not saying that I was focused on things that were turning me into an evil person by any means, but they were taking me down pathways that were not where I wanted my life to be. I noticed that I was spending a lot of time dwelling on things that needed to be forgotten and forgetting things that I desperately needed to remember. I decided that it was time to change.
Since making the decision to change, my life has turned into a whirlwind of chaos. It seems like there are monsters lurking at every corner and when I try and turn a new direction one jumps out and scares me out of my socks! I start to wonder if I really am making good changes. Is this really what I should be doing? Are these really the best decisions I could be making? Are they really going to lead me where I want to go?
Setting off on a new path is scary and challenging. Making changes is always hard and when you are changing bad behaviors into good ones Satan comes out with his arsenal, doing everything he can to make you stop. There are days when I ask God if he sees the upside down of my life? I ask straight out why He would give me things that seem impossible to balance. I tell Him that I want easy and that I'm tired of fighting the battle. Then I sit and quietly listen. In the stillness of that moment I feel him assure me that I'm on the right path and hear Him whisper, "Don't give up".
I've packed my bags and set out on a journey. I'm putting one foot in front of the other and pushing past any monsters that may be lurking about. I'm not sure what comes next. I don't know exactly where this will lead me. I only know that answers come after prayer, blessings come after trials of our faith, and peace comes after doing what you know is right.
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