I've been really bummed out this week. There are a number of reasons for this. It started out with some family drama. Then, I had the flu...spending three days in bed with aches and fevers would bum anyone out! Luckily, I got over that though and the family drama sort of worked itself out, but I still found myself sitting on the couch feeling down.
I started thinking about all the things my life isn't and all the things I haven't done. I'm not as pretty as Betty*, as talented as Nancy, or as popular as Jane. I'm 31-years-old and don't have much to show for it. I haven't accomplished all the things I wish I had or that I see others around me doing. As these thoughts inched their way into my mind my mood spiraled downward. (*names have been changed to protect those who will probably never even read this)
Then I came across the following picture...
God's design of you is intentional. You aren't like your parents, siblings, or friends for a reason. And that's a good thing, because God doesn't want you to be like them. He wants you to be YOU. The challenge today is to release the expectations you've placed on yourself and explore God's amazing plan for you. You'll soon discover that everyone has something to offer!
Wow! Can we say tender mercy!?! Reading that felt like getting spiritually slapped upside the head! I was made to be ME, not Betty, Nancy, or Jane! God's design of me was intentional, I was not His first big oops! He does not see me sitting here on the couch accomplishing nothing with my life and say, "Yeah, not really sure what I was thinking on that one". I matter for one reason or another I matter.
I then started to wonder if me being me was so intentional...what was God thinking? What am I doing that I'm just not seeing right now?
I don't have a job like everyone else does, but because of that I am free to help out a friend with outfit changes at a photoshoot...not everyone else gets to do that. I'm also free to spend an afternoon visiting with my recently widowed landlady...not everyone has the time to serve like that. I may not be married and have children of my own, but because of that I get to be "the best cousin ever" to the most amazing kids I've ever met. I get to help out in Savannah's kindergarten class and play with the kids at the family gatherings while everyone else is busy screaming, "don't you dare touch that" for the hundredth time. I may not be the person with the most friends, but because of that I can be the best friend I know how to the ones I do have. I can send them a message to let them know they are thought about. I can include each and every one of them in my prayers. I can make sure they feel like friends and not just another person, not everyone gets to do that.
My life may not be all the things I wanted it to be. I might still have days where I run into Nancy and long for something a little more, but I will always know I matter. I was born with a purpose. I may not always know what that purpose is, but I know that if I keep doing my best with what I have been given God will find a way to use me for whatever he needs done.