Butterflies

Ok, so for any of you that were reading my blog before and are now joining me on my new blog I thought I would explain the reason for the change. I have recently gained a love for butterflies. You see a caterpillar enters a cocoon a caterpillar and a while later he struggles to come out of his cocoon all the while building up these new and interesting things on his back. Once he is out he starts to wonder what's happened, he's different, he is a little bit excited and a little scared to death. He's not sure how to use these things on his back, so he flaps one and it felt pretty good, so he flaps the other. Pretty soon he takes off if flight and soars around as a beautiful butterfly. This is a great analogy for my life. I've been a caterpillar for a long time, but then I entered a cocoon, I knew there were changes that needed to be made in my life and it was time to make them. Coming out of my cocoon has not been easy, but I know it is helping me build the strength my wings will need to fly one day. I am daily striving to become a butterfly, to learn how to flap my wings one at a time and discover the beautiful me that is emerging from the cocoon. I know that as I continue along the paths I'm on, one day I will find myself soaring around like a beautiful butterfly.

I'm Bored

I just have to say that I am SO bored. I really wish my head would put itself back together and stop hurting, so that I could get back to actually having a life. I was having a perfectly fun life and then all of a sudden one little whack of my head and life gets all dull and boring. It's like fun just flew out the window and didn't even bother to wave goodbye. Now I am stuck with watching tv and checking my email ten times a day just to find there still isn't anything there! So, if anyone out there has any bright ideas of things I can do while I'm drugged and laid up here at my mothers house that woud be awesome. In the meantime I am just making a list of all the things I am going to do as soon as I am healthy again. So far that list is getting quite long....I'm ready to do just about anything like bungee jumping off mount kilimanjaro!

Funny Movies

Being sick there isn't much to do. I spend my days lying around the house playing on either facebook or webkinz (yes I own a webkinz....three actually) or I waste the time away watching movies. The other night my mom rented a movie that I'd heard was a good movie, but that was all we knew about it. As we started to watch it we were instantly laughing. We laughed so hard throughout the show that my friend Dave even had to get up and walk around because his gut hurt from laughing so hard! So, here I am highly reccomending the movie called "Ghost Town", you all must now go and rent said movie and laugh as hard as you possibly can. Keep in mind that it really wouldn't be so bad a thing to die laughing. Once you've seen it you can comment and tell me how much you loved it. On the other hand if you are some insanely wierd person who didn't like the movie, and didn't laugh until you cried then please don't comment and make me argue with you. LOL

Have fun laughing!

Rough Weekend

Well life lately has been a little overwhelming. It seems like things were going well and then the last few days happened. I was at home Thursday night getting ready for bed when I had one of my spells. I woke up extremely nauseated and in a lot of pain. Turns out I had hit my head pretty hard on the way down on my cast iron wood burning stove as well as the rocky cement it sits on. I was up pretty much up all night throwing up because I was so sick from the pain. In the morning I finally found a ride down to the hospital where they did a cat scan that showed I had sustained a concussion and a small bruise on my brain. Can we say...painful!! I've been staying the last few days at my mom's house because I can't be alone. I have to be closely monitored in case of any swelling on my brain. I've been taking Lortab for the pain and other meds for the nausea that comes with being in so much pain. I talkied with the doctor today and they said if I'm not feeling a whole lot better by Monday they are going to redo the cat scan to make sure my brain bleed isn't getting any worse.

While I was in the ER waiting for the results of my scan my mom came in and told me she had just lost her job. This was horrible news. With my parents separation and my dad's lack of employment my mother is the sole supporter of this family. She is extremely depressed and struggling with what the future may hold for my family now. They are for sure not going to be able to keep the house and that makes my mom even more sad. She is scared she isn't going to be able to find another job at her age especially with the economy the way it is. However, she is thinking of going back to school and learning to do something different, I think it's awesome she's considering this idea. it shows me what a strong and dedicated woman my mother is. I love her!

Then Sunday night my best friend called to tell me his mom was kicking him out of the house and he had no where to go at all. My mom and I went and got him and he's been staying here with me at my mom's. I'm not sure how long that is going to be for, but I'm glad he's here and safe with a roof over his head and food to eat. He is such a good guy and deserves to feel loved and not treated the way his family treats him. Once again I love my mom for all she is doing for him. She has truly taken him under her wing and is helping him just like he was her own child. Did I mention that I love my mom!!

So, to summarize life isn't going all that well these days, but I have hope. I recieved a blessing from my bishop friday night and in that blessing he spoke about how the Lord is watching over us and knows what we are going through. These may not be things we would ever have asked for or wanted to go through, but I'm sure that Heavenly Father has a reason for it all and if we just take things one day at a time and trust in Him it will all work out in the end.

btw, sorry if there are a lot of spelling errors or this post doesn't make a lot of sense...keep in mind i'm drugged up on lortab right now!! I'll fix it all once I'm better and thinking more clearly.

Snowy Christmas

Wow, we have so much snow!! Living on my own I though shoveling my own snow at my own house would be way fun. Well, it was way fun...until the other night. I was outside shoveling around 6:00ish, I wanted to get the walkway all shoveled before it froze. I got the cement walkway done and was creating my own little walkway along the grass from my car to the cement. I guess shoveling was pretty tiring because I decided to take a little unexpected nap in the middle of the snow bank! Yep, I passed out and face planted it in the snow. We later decided I was out for about 45 minutes to an hour. When I woke up I was SO SO cold!! I couldn't even move. I was literally frozen in place. Luckily I had my cell phone in my pocket and my hand wasn't too far from it, so in agony of pain I moved just enough to grab my phone and call my Bishop. He was on the freeway and couldn't hear very well, and I was frozen and couldn't talk very well, so it was kind of an odd conversation. All I really remember telling him was that I was cold. He hung up and called one of the counselors in the bishopric who lives not far from me. The next thing I recall Bro. Johnson is carrying me to his house. I got there and his wife stripped me down and stuck me in a tub of warm water. Wow, I thought it hurt being frozen and trying to move, but being unthawed hurt a TON worse! It was all I could do not to cry. However, the water did the trick and I was soon warm and able to move, talk, and breathe normally. I got dressed and ate some warm soup to help. It was a crazy night, and made me rethink this whole idea of shoveling the snow being fun....what was I thinking?!? Anyhow, I recovered and had a nice warm Christmas indoors wearing my warm pj's, wrapped in blankets, drinking hot chocolate!

I'm Back

Wow, I haven't written here since June?? Oh man! Sorry guys, life just got a bit busy I guess. Actually I moved out and haven't had much access to a computer, but I recently bought me a laptop and so now I can visit here more often. YAY! So basically that is my big news from the last few months. I moved out and am loving it. I live in a little hobbit hole in north ogden. It's fun. I have gone through a lot in my life the past few months but I think I've come out on top so it's all good. I've learned a lot and made a lot of changes to my life. I love myself a whole lot more now. I'm like a caterpiller who is making the transition to being a butterfly. It's not been the easiest thing ever nor do I think it will get any easier as time goes on, but I do know it's the best thing for me. I may grumble sometimes, but deep down I love turning into a butterfly!

Help! I'm Under Attack!

Ok, so I am currently house sitting for a friend of mine while she is on vacation in California. It's been great fun being here, but things are always a bit different when your out of your own environment and the things that your used to. Last night as I was sleeping I woke up around 1:00 am to a strange sound coming from downstairs. As I lay there listening I began to get very afraid. It sounded like someone was trying to break in through the back door! I quickly sat up in bed and contemplated what I should do. I headed over to an upstairs window to see if I could see the outside of the backdoor to confirm my fears. Unfortunately, I couldn't see clearly enough to tell. I sat against the wall huddled in fear for a minute or two coming seriously close to calling a male friend who lives nearby or better yet 911. Then I realized that if someone was really trying to get in they would have been in by now. I decided to investigate further...I tiptoed down the stairs ready to sprint back up them at a moments notice. As I reached the bottom of the steps I sat and once again just listened to noise. It was then that I realized the true source of my fears. It was not a burglar, nor was it some crazed maniac trying to break in. No, it was the stupid ice machine on the refrigerator!! Ugg! Upon my discover I rolled my eyes and headed back to bed feeling very grateful I had restrained myself and not called a friend and/or especially 911. Can you just imagine...

911 Operator: "911 what's your emergency?"
Me: "Help! The kitchen appliances are coming after me!"

They would have locked me away in a white padded room for sure!